Make Effective Choices with Pros and Cons

Do you make pros and cons lists to help you make decisions? As a parent, this skill can be handy when we need to make big decisions regarding our teens. For example, we could have made a pros and cons list regarding what to do about school this year, or our teen’s driver’s license, etc. 

In week 6 of DBT, teens learned the pros and cons skill in a different way to help them skillfully cope with big emotions. At Mindful Healing, we have teens look at the pros and cons of engaging or doing their problem behavior as well as not doing their problem behavior.This helps teens identify what their problem behavior does for them in the moment and identify the longer-term consequences (that teens often don’t realize in the moment). 

For example, your teen may be avoiding classes, the pro for this may be that your teen avoids feeling anxious about seeing peers, or getting called on by the teacher, etc.; And the con for skipping class is potentially failing the class, having to take summer school, shame, etc. Additionally, it is important for teens to look at the pros and cons if they did not avoid school. A pro for not avoiding school is that your teen doesn’t fall behind and builds confidence in themselves.  A con for not avoiding school would be feeling increased anxiety when triggered at school. *This is a short list of the pros and cons for this example. In DBT, we also encourage teens to identify the short-term and long-term effects of each pro and con.This helps teens identify how their behavior feels effective in the moment (short-term) but can actually be ineffective due to lasting impact (long-term).

With the pros and cons skill, teens learn that oftentimes their behaviors have greater impacts than they initially realized.This helps teens make healthier choices in the moment and act more skillfully. Test out this skill with your teen next they are struggling with a problem behavior. If your teen needs additional support learning pros and cons or other skillful behaviors contact us at admin@mindfulhealingllc.com.