Five Questions to Ask to Know if My Teen Needs Therapy
How normal is this behavior for this age group? Do your research! There is plenty of information available as to the developmental struggles’ teens have. Teens will struggle hormonally in terms of managing big emotions. Teens are going to experiment with their identity. Teens are still learning how to become autonomous and figure things out for themselves. Teens will explore and compare their emerging values vs their parents’ values and will field test them! Teens will test you! The questions to ask yourself are:
Is the behavior safe? Suicidal ideation is a warning sign. Cutting and other forms of self-injurious behaviors are also warning signs, worth talking about with your teen to find out what is prompting their behaviors.
Is the change in behavior sudden or dramatic? This is another warning sign, indicative of your teen’s inability to resolve a situation or recover from one, very possibly a traumatic one, at least from their perspective.
How dramatically is the behavior impacting their ability to function? Are they able to go to school? Are they withdrawing from most of their friends? Have they made any sudden switches in friends to those that seem, well, less stable?
Are they leaving drug paraphernalia around or acting high, drinking, etc.?
Has the relationship between you and them broken down to the point that there is no adherence to any reasonable rules?
Do they seem apathetic, sleep a lot, low energy on a daily basis, day in and day out?
Do they seem unable to resolve difficult situations that they are struggling with, even with your support?
Are they unable to identify or be open about whatever is causing them distress?
Have there been recent losses- divorce, death, best friend moving away, that affects them in a way that they can’t move forward?
Therapy can be simply a “tweak,” helping them regain their footing. It can be a safe place for them to share their thoughts without have to be concerned that their parents will overreact. It can provide them with skills to manage the big emotions. It can help them step back and look at the big picture- sometimes the entire family is being stressed out by a circumstance and they can’t find their place in the chaos.
Teens need to know that when a parent offers to send them to therapy, it is not because they need to be “fixed,” but because they can have an opportunity to navigate some of the curves in the road that can throw them off course!
