What Happens if My Teen Won’t Talk in Therapy?

One of the most common concerns teen parents have when their child begins therapy is ‘what if my teen doesn’t want to talk?’ This isn’t an unfounded concern. Most adolescents struggling with mental health first present with a shut-down in their communication. They don’t want to talk about school, their friends, their day– much less what may be bothering them, or the complexities of their feelings. Parents are often the first ones to feel this lack of communication, and are therefore often the most acutely aware of exactly how willing– or unwilling– their child may be to talk in therapy. 

So what does happen if this silence translates to therapy as well?

Since communications decreasing is one of the most common symptoms teens can present with, therapists are very accustomed to addressing this in treatment. The answer is much simpler than it seems it should be, but the best solution for a teen who doesn’t want to talk is the same thing we bring to all of our clients, regardless of age and presentation: building a relationship. 

The therapeutic relationship is one of the most powerful and important tools a therapist has in their arsenal. It allows the therapist to understand their client better and be more effective in their suggestions and, more importantly, allows the client to trust them enough to take those suggestions. This relationship is built from the very first session through what is called rapport building. By building a positive rapport with the client, we create a space where they are naturally more inclined to sharing, feel more comfortable communicating, and are able to work on the healing process. Building rapport can look like simply getting to know each other, playing games, joking around or sharing hobbies. While on the surface it may not seem like the most ‘therapeutic’ tools, it is actually the best tool therapists have at their disposal. 

So, again… what happens if your teen won’t talk in therapy? The answer is more simply said than done, but ultimately, this doesn’t need to be a concern. Over time and through the therapeutic relationship, they will open up, and in the meantime, there is a lot we can do to build trust and relationships, and even help them develop skills that can help them– all without them talking. Eventually, their treatment and overall outcomes can even be better for the bonding that overcoming the ‘silent treatment’ hurdle provides.