Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work (and What Does)
As the New Year rolls around, people are excited to set resolutions. It's a tradition that feels empowering, right? The promise of a new year, a clean slate. For many, it's a time to "get better," whether that means improving habits, achieving big goals, or making personal changes.
But when it comes to teens, those same New Year’s resolutions that work so well for adults often fall flat. Teens are at a very different stage of life, with unique developmental challenges that don't always align with the traditional resolution mindset. Instead of focusing on rigid resolutions, it’s far more effective for teens to work with the natural process of change—a process that builds on self-awareness, self-compassion, and patience.
So, what’s the better approach? It’s about embracing the Stages of Change model—a psychological framework that helps us understand how change actually happens, one step at a time.
New Year’s Resolutions are Often Too Rigid for Teens
The typical resolution mindset comes with a sense of black-and-white thinking: you either succeed or fail. Teens, who are still developing their identity and understanding of their place in the world, are often more sensitive to failure, especially when they face challenges outside of their control. A resolution like “I will exercise every day” can quickly feel overwhelming when life gets in the way, or when a teen is still figuring out their motivation. When failure feels like a certainty, the process of change is stunted before it even begins. (You can learn more about black-and-white thinking by watching this video from our YouTube channel.)
Teens need more than an abstract goal. They need something that meets them where they are and respects the fact that their interests, needs, and life circumstances are always evolving.
What are the Stages of Change?
The Stages of Change model is grounded in the understanding that change is not a linear process. It’s a journey, not a destination. This model was first developed by psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, and it has since been used widely to understand behavior change—especially in the context of addiction, health, and personal development.
The model includes five stages, and most people don’t simply jump straight from one stage to the next—they move through each stage at their own pace. Here’s how it works:
Precontemplation – In this stage, a teen may not even be aware that they need or want to change something. For example, they might not recognize how much screen time is impacting their mental health or how unhealthy their eating habits have become.
Contemplation – Now, the teen starts thinking about making a change. They might start noticing the impacts of their behaviors, but they’re not quite ready to commit. “Maybe I should cut down on screen time, but it’s just so hard to imagine life without my phone…”
Preparation – In this stage, they start preparing to take action. A teen might research healthier habits, talk to a trusted adult about making a change, or get their space organized to make it easier. They’re still gathering information and figuring out the "how."
Action – This is when they begin making actual changes. The teen might start setting smaller, realistic goals (e.g., spending 30 minutes a day without a screen or swapping unhealthy snacks for something more nourishing). Change is now happening, but it’s not always perfect.
Maintenance – This is the stage where new habits are reinforced and become part of a teen's routine. However, change isn’t always permanent. A teen may still experience setbacks, and it’s important that they don’t give up completely just because they slip up. Learning to navigate challenges and keep moving forward is part of maintaining progress.
By embracing the Stages of Change, teens can take the pressure off themselves to make sweeping changes overnight. They can work on developing new habits in a more compassionate way, focusing on small, intentional steps instead of one giant leap.
If you're interested in learning more about how the Stages of Change can support your personal growth, or how to create a mindful approach to lasting change, feel free to reach out. I’d love to help you explore the path that feels right for you.
