Skills I Teach Teens Who are Thinking About Suicide

If you’re a teen struggling with thoughts of suicide, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. You may be in a lot of pain right now, and while it might feel like there’s no way out, there are tools that can help you survive and even begin to feel hope again. One of the most effective tools for coping with intense emotions and suicidal thoughts is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).

What Is DBT?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a therapy that combines acceptance and change. It teaches you how to:

• Understand and tolerate intense emotions

• Manage painful thoughts without acting on them

• Build a life worth living, even when things are hard

There are four main sets of skills in DBT:

• Mindfulness

• Distress Tolerance

• Emotion Regulation

• Interpersonal Effectiveness

Let’s break them down and talk about how they might help when you’re having thoughts of suicide.

Mindfulness: staying in the present moment

When your mind is racing with negative thoughts it is easy to feel overwhelmed and in an escalated state. Utilizing mindfulness skills focuses on what is happening right now, without judgement. It can help create space between your feelings and actions until they decrease in intensity. 

Distress Tolerance: calm your body down

Distress tolerance skills are crisis survival skills that help you get back in tune with yourself when your emotions and body are both overwhelmed. TIPP skills are a great set of skills to reach for when struggling with suicidal thoughts. 

T: Temperature – Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube.

I: Intense Exercise – Do jumping jacks or run in place for 1–2 minutes.

P: Paced breathing – Inhale deeply for 4 counts, exhale for 6 counts.

P: Progressive muscle relaxation- tense and release each muscle group for 10 seconds starting with your toes and working your way up to your head 

Emotion Regulation

Emotion regulation skills help us to reduce emotional vulnerabilities- or things that make negative emotions more likely to escalate. These skills also help us determine what causes emotions, the frequency of them, and how to increase more positive emotions. 

Interpersonal Effectiveness

Teens often struggle to create and maintain healthy relationships which often leads to feeling isolated and misunderstood. Utilizing interpersonal effectiveness skills can help teens learn to express needs without guilt or fear, uphold boundaries, and manage conflict in a calm way. 

Thoughts of suicide are typically not a desire to dire, but a desire for your pain to end. That’s valid. DBT doesn’t promise quick fixes, but it does offer real, practical tools to help you survive the pain, understand yourself, and move toward a life that feels worth living.

You don’t have to do this alone. Reaching out to a therapist, a trusted adult, or a crisis line can be the first step in getting support.

If You’re in Crisis

If you’re thinking about suicide or feel unsafe, please get help immediately:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (USA): Call or text 988

• CT Mobile Crisis: 211

• National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-RUNAWAY

You are not a burden. You are not too much. You deserve help and healing.