When Your Teen Has BPD: Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month

Life as a teenager can be a rollercoaster of emotions, but what if those ups and downs seem to be more intense and overwhelming than usual? It could be more than just being a moody teen – it might be Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). BPD is a mental health condition that can significantly impact your teen's ability to manage their emotions. May is BPD Awareness Month, and we at Mindful Healing are here to help you understand BPD, recognize the signs and symptoms, and discover ways to support your teen.

Tell Me More about BPD 

Many parents are not familiar with BPD and might wonder how their teen developed this disorder and what it means. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, studies suggest that genetic, environmental, and social factors may increase the risk of developing BPD. These factors may include family history, brain structure and function, and experiencing traumatic events. The use of the word “borderline” is because doctors used to believe that it was on the border between neurosis and psychosis, but now mental health professionals understand that the disorder is actually about emotional instability. Despite it being classified as a personality disorder, the resulting behaviors are not a reflection of who your teen is–rather, it is their way of coping with overwhelming emotions. 

Signs and Symptoms of BPD in Teens

One of the key things about BPD is that your teen’s feelings can change quickly and intensely. They may feel intense sadness, anger, or anxiety that can last from a few hours to a few days. These emotions can be triggered by seemingly minor events and can be difficult for teens to manage on their own. 

Another common symptom of BPD in teens is unstable relationships. They may have a pattern of switching from idealizing someone to seemingly hating them very quickly. They may think their significant other is the best person alive, but then up over what you as the parent might perceive as something trivial. They might get upset with you one day and give you the silent treatment, only to post on social media the next day that they have the “best parents ever.” This pendulum swing can lead to frequent arguments and conflicts.

Teens with BPD may also engage in impulsive and risky behaviors, such as alcohol and drug use, reckless driving, eating disorder behavior, unsafe sexual practices, or self-harm. These behaviors are often an attempt to cope with overwhelming emotions or to seek validation and attention from others. It helps them to numb the pain, get them out of their brains and into their bodies, or simply distract them.

Diagnosis and Treatment of BPD

If you think your teen might have BPD, talking to a mental health professional is a good first step. Diagnosing BPD in teens can be challenging, as many of the symptoms overlap with typical adolescent behavior. However, if you notice patterns of behavior that are negatively impacting your teen's life and causing them major distress, it may be time to seek help.

Therapy, especially Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), can be really helpful for teens with BPD. It teaches your teen the skills to manage emotions, improve relationships, and cope with stressful situations in healthier ways. In some cases, medication may be prescribed to help with specific symptoms, such as depression or anxiety.

Supporting a Teen with BPD

If you suspect that your teen may have BPD, make sure to give them empathy and understanding. Avoid blaming or criticizing them for their behavior–this will only make your teen feel guilty and shameful, and it might cause them to spiral into their behaviors even further. Instead, practice validating their feelings (watch this video to learn the difference between validation, praise, and enabling) and active listening.

Additionally, self-care is crucial for teens with BPD. Encouraging your teen to engage in healthy coping mechanisms, such as exercise, mindfulness, or creative expression like art and music, can also be beneficial. It's also important to surround your teen with supportive people who understand what they are going through. Building a strong support network of friends, family, and mental health professionals can make a big difference in how your teen manages BPD.

BPD might be frustrating or scary for your teen–or even for you as their parent–but it doesn’t mean that things have to stay the way they are. Your teen is simply trying to manage intense emotions, and with the right support and tools, your teen can learn to do so in a healthy way and live a fulfilling life.