Helping Your Teen Manage Time

How many times have you found out on a Sunday night before school that your teen is distressed because they had a paper due (which they knew for over a month), or a test they hadn’t studied for? All weekend, of course, they were having a great time with their friends and you thought they had everything under control?

Such a common scenario? Some teens have ADHD and literally cannot manage their time without some help. Other teens have big wants and their wants take priority over their have-to’s.

How can you, a mere parent, help?

Organization, procrastination, avoidance are something many people, not just teens struggle with. Often consequences don’t work. So what may work?

The reward of getting things done is the relief you feel. The reward to getting things done is the idea that you can then enjoy the present without having that ax hanging over your head waiting to fall, that ax your teen keeps avoiding.

One strategy is to have your teen to sit down and once a week have a “catch-up day.” This has to be BEFORE the weekend or fun time begins. Moreover, it needs to be an all-or-nothing day. EVERYTHING not done needs to get done that day, even if it means canceling some other obligation. Ideally “catch up day” needs to be part of a schedule just as soccer practice or piano lessons are scheduled with sufficient time to actually do all the work that has been avoided.

After your teen completes the task(s), have them close their eyes, have them do some deep breathing, have them savor the feeling they now have that they are done (if they are too “tired” wait til the next morning when they are looking forward to some fun). Have them imprint that feeling into their body. This is a body memory and the goal is to get them to want to have that memory draw them, as a reward, so they can repeat the process. So this will need to be practiced.

Also, after their time of fun, have them do that again. What was it like for them to enjoy themselves knowing they didn’t have to face what they had been avoiding… knowing that AFTER THE FUN, they are still free! They don’t have to wake up Sunday morning, or Monday morning with that sinking feeling in their stomach about work not completed! 

This is one habit, once it is developed, that will truly free your teen from unnecessary stress!