Are Post-Holiday Emotions Weighing You Down?
When you get right down to it, the annual Holiday Season lasts over a month! Regardless of any community or faith association your family has, this time of year comes with burdens as well as joys and expressions of gratitude. And this year of 2020 has had all its own causes for concern and hopes, particularly for the health of family, loved ones, and so many who care for all of us.
This is especially true for those who have children. Your emotions swell when you look at your children’s resilience amidst national and global illness. Then, a moment later, your heart becomes heavy with concern about their well-being, education, and future opportunities.
This is a time to recognize and acknowledge your emotions. To be honest with yourselves and others about what you are feeling. Here at Mindful Healing we invite you to consider steps for avoiding holiday self-punishment and duress. Let us guide you with a set of skills that will help you move from the stuck feeling brought on by negative emotions.
The first skill is to breathe, simply doing that with as much focus as possible. As you do, scan your body and mind for how you feel.
Where are you holding physical, mental, or emotional tension? Breathe into any, picturing release.
As you scan, are you aware of where you feel relaxed, satisfied, at peace? Breathe into any, expressing quiet gratitude.
Repeat throughout your day, offering yourself the gift of focused breaths.
The second skill is ACCEPTS, a skill which you and your teen may already use. Even then, a quick remind-and-refresh can help on a day when the world’s weight is tight upon your shoulders. Set aside a few moments during the day to consider each step:
A is to keep active. Pick an activity that is devoted to you. For care of your self-care and well-being. It might be time outside, a leisurely bath, or time with a special book.
C is for contributing to others. Let it be spontaneous. A quick call or message to someone you’ve thought of a lot recently. That is sure to mean a lot to their day!
C is for comparison, in this case holding gratitude for your family’s commitment to each other. It can mean comparing yourself now with a year ago. Things that you’ve learned, even the tough lessons that have made you aware of your strengths.
E is for emotions. Observe yours from as neutral a place as you can muster. Now select a preferred emotion and find a way to shift to it. Maybe you need a chuckle, or a good cry to release pent-up tension. Whatever you do, pause afterward and observe your new emotional state.
PT is for pushing away thoughts. In this case those of not being or doing enough. The kind that lead to self-punishment. When one of those ‘less than’ thoughts appears, replace it with one about your goodness. It can be anything! Begin with a smile to create an emotional shift.
S is for sensation, as in calling on any of your five senses to lighten your load. Choose something delightfully simple to brighten your day!
The third skill is Lovingkindness. This version of what can be a long meditation is intended to be personal and devoted to whomever you choose:
May I be filled with lovingkindness.
May I be safe and well.
May I be at ease, accepting each moment as it is.
You then can repeat this for others, moving outward to your family, friends, community, state, nation, the world. Let your lovingkindness, be it nearby or across oceans, be a reflection of your hopes for self and others.
Our hope for you at Mindful Healing is that you will transition into the coming year with appreciation for what you contribute to others’ lives, just as they do to yours.
