Help Your Teen Focus on This School Year
Education is one thing that helps to determine your child’s path in life. It is that important! Yet, the experience of school varies from one teen to the next. Success or challenges come in the form of academics, social connections, school functions, athletics, and community participation.
Added to all of this are the influences of family, friends, and physical and emotional changes. And, we have not yet mentioned the numerous effects of the pandemic on schooling in the 2020 to 2021 era. You realize there’s been a lot for your teen to juggle. Heck, you’ve felt so much confusion about all that’s happening around you, and you’re an adult. What must it be like for your child? And, how can you help them to focus on school during the coming year?
Here at Mindful Healing we use the principles of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to address all kinds of situations your teen faces in their lives. Although the pandemic is unique, DBT offers us reliable tools that are very useful, even now.
The 2021 School Setting
Whether your teen is young and in middle school, or older and about to graduate from high school, this age group is facing something new to many of them. That is, remote or virtual learning. Included and added to that are highly variable options:
Hybrid learning and cohorts with teens being in specific groups, some days in school and others learning remotely at home.
Faculty, staff, and friends getting tested for Covid-19.
Managing social distancing in school settings, including on buses.
Some schools are trying to keep up with extracurricular activities, others less so.
Assuring that students have enough food, even when they’re studying all the time at home.
Teens and families receiving notice that tomorrow school will return to remote learning. It might be for the rest of the week, or the month. Maybe longer; time will tell.
What This Feels Like for Teens
Life is full of continual change. You know that and talk about it with your children. Despite that, this past year, and the coming months--who knows how many--you’ve seen change that makes your head spin. As you think about that, an important question enters your mind: What must all of this be like for your teen and their friends?
Let’s reflect on that important question for a few moments before we move on to how to help your teen focus on school. Your child may be feeling:
Pressure due to the changes that can happen at what feels like a moment’s notice, such as going to school and then back to remote studies.
Confusion because of the different approaches teachers use with virtual learning.
Isolated from friends and favorite school-associated and community activities.
Frustrated by technology, connectivity, and household distractions.
Worried that their grades will not be up to par because of all that’s going on.
Exhausted because doing homework takes so much longer than usual.
Scared that you, extended family members, or friends will get sick or die.
Like they can’t talk with you about their fears and worries, as you already have so much on your mind.
Knowing that any of these are just the tip of the iceberg for your child, you’re learning to turn to DBT skills to guide them toward the balance of the middle mind.
Steps and Tips for Finding Focus
Finding focus is really about finding what works for your teen. This involves patience amidst the trial and error steps any of us take to change our behavior and learn new skills. DBT practices are useful in many situations. Right now you want to encourage your teen to use them for focusing on school.
Suggest they start each day with a mind and body scan by:
Checking in how they feel physically.
What’s on their mind?
Is their mood up, down, or in between?
Remind your child that they can mindfully shift how they feel by:
Getting some physical activity, outdoors or inside.
Eating something that is satisfying as well as nourishing.
Taking a shower or bath when they’re bored or out of sorts.
Stopping what they’re doing when they feel stuck.
Using their creativity to break through a slump or when they’re easily distracted.
Try some humor or music to shift the mood.
Have your teen make note of which activities or diversions boost their focus-ability.
They can repeat use of one when it’s time to study or get ready for school.
Let them know it’s okay to shift gears when they feel fidgety or bored.
Remind them that losing and regaining focus happens differently for everyone.
Support them in making a space that contributes to focus.
Request that others in the household respect what your teen needs in order to focus on school.
Engage your teen in making a game out of what’s good and what’s awful about this school year.
This gives your child the chance to vent about the negatives.
They can share what’s good that they miss.
You’ll gain insights that help you support your teen on days they’re struggling with all the changes and uncertainty.
The changes happening in your family’s life right now are indeed stressful. Taking time to focus on simple pleasures and favorite family rituals helps each of you to feel present in what’s going on today. Guiding your children, and inviting them to take the lead in what to celebrate as a family encourages a sense of renewal when most needed.
Here at Mindful Healing we celebrate your family’s and teen’s unique contributions to our community. Our focus is on supporting you as you guide your teen in the coming year.
