How to Be Thankful When Things Feel Hopeless

Thanksgiving is about to envelop us in a spirit of family gatherings with the mission of being thankful for our relationships, the good events in our lives, our food and shelter and the love of our family. Yet, for parents of some teens, this is a time of greater stress, grief, sadness and/or anxiety. The contrast between the traditional “Thanksgiving” family gathering and the reality can only magnify the stress and hopelessness a parent can feel. 

Parents of teens struggling with mental illness often dread this time of year. They anticipate having to deal with anger and conflict, or with avoidant teens who can’t even get out of bed….or worse, who don’t want to live. They try to soldier on, put together a feast, invite extended family and pray there is no outburst, no drama or that their teen comes down to dinner and participates in social interaction. They may find themselves periodically checking up on a teen who is still hiding under the covers, just to make are they are still alive. 

Parents in these situations often feel frustrated or guilty, angry and helpless. Worse, they see no light at the end of the tunnel. And that is the problem. There IS a light. It’s just that parents are often caught in the curve of the tunnel and haven’t gotten around it yet. Once they do, in the distance, straight ahead, they will see the light. What seems an impossible situation now, can change. As your teen gets older, they will change. Even their brain can change! 

Teenage years are often the toughest for parents. Just remember, you are almost there. Your teens won’t always be teens. They will become adults. They can heal. Your family can right itself again. There is hope. They are alive (even if some might not want to be, they are alive!). You won’t always be the bad guy or the helpless parent, or the parent who just can’t do anything right. Some day you may even hear the words, “Mom, Dad, I don’t know how you did it!”