How to Use the “ACCEPTS” Skill for Distraction in Crisis
When you’re in a moment of emotional crisis, it can feel like you’re drowning in waves you didn’t ask for. Everything feels too much, too fast. If you’re a teen navigating those waters, it’s important to know that you do have options. One of my favorite DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skills for these moments is ACCEPTS—a powerful tool for distraction with a purpose.
Here’s the breakdown of ACCEPTS:
A – Activities: Get moving. Draw, play a video game, organize your closet, or shoot hoops. The goal is to shift your attention, even briefly.
C – Contributing: Help someone else. Send a kind message, volunteer, or make your sibling laugh. When we contribute, we shift our focus outside of ourselves.
C – Comparisons: Remind yourself of a time when things were even harder—and how you got through it. Or compare your situation to others who have it differently—not to minimize your pain, but to gain perspective.
E – Emotions: Watch a funny video, listen to an intense song, or cry with a movie. Bring on a different emotional wave to ride for a bit.
P – Pushing Away: Visualize placing your crisis in a box on a shelf. Tell yourself, “Not right now.” This is a mental pause, not avoidance.
T – Thoughts: Count backwards from 100 by sevens, recite song lyrics, or do a puzzle. Fill your brain with something else.
S – Sensations: Hold an ice cube, take a cold shower, eat something spicy. Intense physical sensations can snap us back into the now.
These aren’t escape hatches—they’re anchors. They don’t solve the problem, but they give you space to return to it when you’re calmer. You are allowed to protect your peace while learning to navigate the storm. Try different ACCEPTS skills. Find your go-tos. Most importantly—remember, you are never alone.
