My # 1 Recommended Book for Parents and Teens to Cope with Daily Anxiousness

My number one recommended book for parents and teens to cope with daily anxiousness is Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff by Richard Carlson, PH.D. Richard discusses “simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life” in this book. Richard shares some of his personal experiences of sweating the small stuff. I recommend this book for coping with daily anxiousness, because we often focus on the more intense events that trigger our anxiety. However, it is more common to see teens and parents struggle with daily anxiousness. 

Parents: It can be difficult to not get bogged down by daily stressors. However, when we learn to let the small things go, we will become less stressed and anxious. As for parents, there are several chapters in this book that can be helpful for not only improving communication between you and your teen, which is often a trigger for parent’s stress but also to understand their own anxiety as a parent. Some of these chapters are get comfortable without knowing, choose your battles wisely, look beyond behavior and avoid weatherproofing. 

Teens: Teens also experience many daily stressors that can trigger anxiousness. For example, teens will become anxious if they get a “bad” grade on a test and internalize this as being “stupid or bad themselves”. This book teaches teens to have self-compassion and let go of the small things. Meaning one low grade does not define who you are as a person. This book also teaches teens to practice compassion with others and put themselves in others shoes. Some chapters that I find especially helpful for teens are make peace with imperfection, be aware of the snowball effect of your thinking, surrender to the fact that life isn’t fair, allow yourself to be bored, and do one thing at a time. 

A core aspect of DBT is interpersonal effectiveness skills. Being able to validate and have self-compassion for others is a big part of interpersonal effectiveness. Relationship conflict is an example of a daily stressors that can cause some anxiousness for both teens and parents. For example, teens are often worried about being liked by their peers and fitting in. Some chapters that help both teens and parents to practice interpersonal effectiveness skills are breathe before you speak, resist the urge to criticize, seek to first understand and become a better listener.