The One DBT Skill Every Teen Should Know
If there’s one skill that every teen should know, it’s “Distress Tolerance.” This skill is part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapy that’s particularly effective for managing strong emotions, improving relationships, and dealing with life’s stressors. So, why is Distress Tolerance such a game-changer for teens?
What Is Distress Tolerance?
Distress Tolerance refers to the ability to withstand and navigate difficult emotions without resorting to harmful behaviors like yelling, withdrawing, or engaging in self-destructive acts. It’s about learning how to stay calm, centered, and in control when life feels overwhelming.
For teens, distress tolerance is especially important because this is a time of heightened emotions—sometimes with little to no warning. From a disagreement with a friend to the pressure of an exam, teens often experience stress and anxiety that can feel like a tidal wave. Distress Tolerance skills give them the tools to ride those waves without letting their emotions dictate their actions.
Why Is Distress Tolerance So Crucial for Teens?
Teen brains, particularly the areas responsible for managing emotions and making decisions, are still maturing. Because of this, emotions can feel incredibly intense, and teens may struggle to cope when things go wrong. When teens don’t have the skills to cope with difficult emotions, they may resort to unhealthy behaviors—like substance use, self-harm, or withdrawing socially.
Distress Tolerance helps them handle emotional intensity more effectively. It teaches healthy ways to cope with pain, frustration, and anxiety, helping teens avoid these negative patterns. This fosters healthier relationships and reduces impulsive behavior that can cause regret.
Additionally, when teens learn how to deal with distress, they also reduce the risk of developing anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues. By recognizing and validating their emotions, they become less overwhelmed by them and more able to keep them in perspective.
Simple Distress Tolerance Skills for Teens
While there are a variety of techniques within DBT’s Distress Tolerance module, here are a few that are especially effective for teens:
The “STOP” Skill
The STOP skill is one of the most powerful ways to prevent an impulsive reaction in a stressful moment. Here’s how it works:S: Stop what you’re doing.
T: Take a deep breath.
O: Observe what’s going on inside and outside of you.
P: Proceed with a clear mind and thoughtful action.
Self-Soothing Techniques
Sometimes, when emotions are high, a teen just needs to calm down before they can think clearly. Self-soothing is about engaging the senses to feel better. This could be through listening to music, taking a warm bath, feeling a soft texture, or focusing on deep breathing. These activities help the brain calm down and reduce emotional reactivity.Distraction
When emotions feel too overwhelming to handle, distraction can be a helpful tool. Teens can focus on something that takes their mind off the situation, whether it’s drawing, exercising, watching a funny video, or doing a hobby they enjoy. The goal isn’t to avoid emotions, but to give the brain a break until they can return to the issue with more clarity.Radical Acceptance
Radical Acceptance is about accepting reality as it is, without fighting against it. This doesn’t mean you like or agree with a situation—it means you stop resisting and acknowledge things as they are. For example, if a teen faces a disappointment, Radical Acceptance can help them accept the reality of the situation, allowing them to move forward without feeling stuck in anger or frustration. (Learn more about Radical Acceptance in our YouTube video!)
These techniques help teens feel physically calmer, which can translate into emotional calm as well.
Distress Tolerance is more than just a skill; it’s a mindset that can radically change how teens respond to the world around them. By teaching them how to handle emotional storms with grace and control, we give them the tools to navigate life’s challenges without getting swept away. If your teen struggles with intense emotions, DBT can offer the guidance they need to develop healthier coping mechanisms, improve their relationships, and enhance their overall well-being.
