How to Tell Therapy is Working
When we begin therapy, there’s no clear answer as to how long it will take, or even what necessarily will be accomplished when. Typically, there are simply goals that can feel quite abstract. They can sound like “I want to feel happier,” “I want things to be better,” or simply “I want things to be different.” So how do we know that therapy is working?
Although on the client’s side goals are often vague or abstract, on the therapist’s side they tend to be much more specific. Over the course of the first few weeks, therapists will identify ‘pain points’-- the most pressing and addressable problems that present themselves in session. Those pain points are then matched to potential skill sets, specific modes of therapy, and short term goals that can be accomplished as therapy moves on. There could be any number of these shorter term, specific goals on our way to addressing the client’s overarching goal. For the therapist, these can make it easier to track progress than it is for clients.
On the client’s end, progress can feel slow, or sometimes non-existent. One of the most common phrases that therapists may use in addressing this is that “progress isn’t linear.” There can often be times during therapy that can feel very hard, as tough emotions are addressed and new skills are practiced. In those moments, they may not be able to see the progress they have made, in the same way someone who looks in the mirror every day may not notice their hair growing. It’s small changes, slowly over time, that result in a more drastic change when comparing where we started with how we conclude.
Ultimately, this is often how we can tell if therapy is working– not by comparing ourselves to how we were a few weeks ago, but instead comparing ourselves to how we were functioning a week or two before therapy. Have the coping patterns changed? Have our feelings and emotions changed? Have we seen an improvement in interpersonal relationships, or perhaps we realize that some small things that felt difficult are now no longer on our radar at all? If journaling as been a part of the therapeutic process, looking back on old entries can give great insight into how you were thinking in the beginning versus how you approach things further into therapy. Your goals may now be more specific, rather than the larger “just be better.”
And of course, when in doubt, you can talk to your therapist. Your therapist, as an outside perspective and as someone who is tracking these smaller progress milestones, will be able to help you identify the areas of growth to which you may be too close to see. They can help you hone in on your new goals, provide that side-by-side comparison, and help you set more specific goals that are truer to the progress you’ve made. It can be frustrating to feel like there hasn’t been progress, but it’s important to remember that we are not always at the best vantage point to track our own progress, and being unsure is normal.