Tolerate Difficult Emotions Mindfully

Like everyone teenagers feel overwhelmed and struggle to manage distress and uncomfortable feelings. 

However, some teenagers are better equipped to manage difficult emotions and implement coping strategies while others feel overwhelmed easily by emotional stressors. 

As many of you have come to realize, some teens experience their emotions at such a high intensity they are unable to control their reactions. Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills can help guide you and your teen toward finding balance and gaining a sense of emotional control. 

Teens and Distress

Distress is the outcome of something upsetting. It can be from external stress or caused internally. Adolescent hormonal changes can cause distress, as can troubling thoughts or moods. Teens differ in how they express distress, such as:

• Acting out. Think of the many ways this occurs.

  • Cursing and using hurtful language.

  • Being mean with siblings, pets, and you.

  • Having little or no regard for your property or that of others.

  • Pushing the limits on ground rules, bedtime, and family responsibilities such as chores.

• Being sullen or having wide mood swings.

• Overreacting to seemingly simple upsets.

• Eating issues, ranging from too much to not enough...perhaps both within days of each other.

• Evidence of substance use in one form or another.

• Concerns about school and/or work.

• Change in self-care habits, even for the better!

  • In this situation, is the cause due to pressure?

  • Is the uptick in self-care within reason or has it gone into overdrive?

DBT Mindfulness Steps to Manage Upsetting Situations

Now that we’ve set the stage of teen distress, something you may feel you know all too well, let’s go over however, Mindfulness in DBT solutions can help your teen regain emotional stability. Your primary concern is when distress can lead to a crisis situation. Those times cause real concern as you want your child to make wise choices for their well-being. By learning and practicing Mindfulness skills for distress, your teen:

• Will learn ways to prevent crisis before it starts

• Will learn to identity and communicate effectively what is upsetting them

• Can respond to something distressing by using skills practiced over weeks or months

Mindfulness Skills of Observing and Describing 

DBT Mindfulness skills guides your teen with how to observe what’s going on and how to describe how it feels. They learn to: 

• Identify the emotion dominating what’s happening. It could be:

  • Anger

  • Fear

  • Extreme ecstasy (yes, this too can cause distress)

  • Sadness

  • Ambivalence 

  • Shame and self-loathing

• Name the cause of the distress, such as:

  • A bad argument with a friend or loved one

  • Bullying or stalking, either in person or online

  • Substance use--their own or that of a friend or loved one

  • Pain in any form

  • Body image issues

• State how the distress makes them feel physically, including:

  • Headaches

  • Stomach and intestinal upsets

  • Heart palpitations

  • Exhaustion

  • Feeling hyper

  • Trouble with eating and sleeping

Teens often have a hard time naming their emotions and communicating their feelings and needs to others. This often leads to increased feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and distress. Teaching teens how to slow down, identify, and label what is happening at earlier stages of distress decreases the intensity of what they are experiencing and allows them to make effective decisions before they into crisis mode. 

If you want to learn more about DBT skills or how DBT may be able to support your teen we are here to help you.