Self-Harm and the Holidays

The end of every calendar year can be so exciting! There are holidays for celebrating gratitude and family togetherness. Then there are those related to faith or group values. That means that for many of us, life is a continuing circle of festivities. Yet, what if all of the glitter, deep meaning, and calls for being thankful are more of a burden for your teen, and even for you? When this is the case, you worry about self-harm in any of its many forms. 

The worry, or any amount of concern, you feel for a loved one’s potential for self-harm is real. This extends to feeling anxious about your adolescent’s friends. You are well aware of the effects self-harm can have on a social group, school, or community. This blog approaches these holiday concerns from a preventive standpoint. It includes frankly listing signs for concern, followed by how to respond to those while creating an atmosphere for self-care rather than self-harm. 

Holiday Concerns

As you and other parents, and we as therapists, consider caring for adolescents this holiday season, we are presented with a sobering message. National organizations that include the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), have issued a statement of national emergency in child and adolescent mental health. 

Although this is not surprising given the numerous and ongoing disruptions of life and schedules associated with the pandemic, it certainly behooves all of us to pause as we plan for children’s and teens’ well-being and safety during this season.

Watch for Signs of Self-harm

Factors that influence self-harm can come from far beyond your home and even your teen’s school or immediate social group. Just think of what’s on the news or in movies and other shows. These, the many months of the pandemic, plus social unrest all add to concerns that you have. Even small changes are signs to watch for, including:

• Changes in any routines, from eating and personal hygiene to usual activities and interactions with family and friends.

• Signs of bullying and other forms of harassment at school, in the communit

• Evidence of physical self-harm even as simple as nail-chewing. More crucial concerns are the possibility of cutting, substance use, or any intentional use that may indicate suicidal contemplation.

• Increased signs of anxiety or depression such as increased time in bed, acting jittery

• Interactions with friends and family that are aggressive, volatile, or overly passive, as these may indicate agitation, or a sense of giving up.

Tips for Reducing Risk 

Just as there are influences in and beyond your community that can provoke self-harm, there are steps you can take to reduce its risks. Prevention includes a blending of community care with self-care. Measures for promoting your teen’s sense of self while striving to prevent self-harm includes communication coupled with making meaning as part of the holidays. To do so:

• As much as possible, be intentional with how you pace life and your family’s obligations, from meals to social occasions.

• Keep conflict to a minimum, including pressure that is a trigger for your teen. They may have a different view of conflict and tension than you do.

• Provide consistent presence and/or availability so your teen is aware that you are there for them.

• Assure that there’s time for interactions with your teen, be it conversations, favored activities, or dusting off holiday traditions from when they were little.

• Do something they want to do, regardless if it’s on your list of something fun and engaging. 

• Encourage your teen to stick with regular self-care routines and be sure you’re doing the same!

• If your teen’s school or a community organization are hosting events for adolescents, find out how you can help out.  

Tune in to DBT Practices and Therapy  

Fortunately, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a form of counseling that has been studied and found to have positive results with teens who are prone to self-harm and suicidal thoughts. These include a wide range of skills and practices that help teens with self-regulation, such as:

• Mindfulness practice during which your teen learns to observe and assess their responses to various stimuli.

• Distress tolerance and emotional regulation that guide your teen with learning about their personal triggers. This information guides them with learning how to manage emotions rather than feeling overwhelmed or reactive.

• How to identify and apply various self-care methods that support emotional balancing such as:

  • Regular physical activity that’s enjoyable

  • Steps to promote sound sleep

  • Food selections that reduce inflammation, irritability, and energy level swings

  • Engaging in yoga, reflection, journaling, art, music, hobbies, and so on that boost your teen’s sense of self 

• Your teen’s DBT therapist assures that therapeutic methods and self-care practices address your teen’s current and past concerns, by:

  • Having regularly scheduled appointments

  • Scheduling supplemental group activities for skills development

  • Possibly offering the option to be available when your teen has a sense of overwhelm

  • Supporting and guiding you with steps and activities you can take to limit self-harm risk at any time, and especially now, during the holiday season.

We at Mindful Healing are ready to share our insights with you as you seek helpful methods to protect your teen from harm. We realize that each child and situation is different, thus the care we provide is individualized for your teen and family.